FOR AUNT ALTA ON HER DEATH

Eruv Pesach 4/13/76

Son Jack broken up when confronted with words
of Aunt Alta's sudden death, shocked and saddened,
sobbed and moaned and clutched his sister Elaine,
and began his wrestling with Death-Reality, questioned
Death demanding the Why the Why of her sudden departure,
questioned the Why on Eruv Pesach, the Why, our
Family Matriarch our Seder's Guest of Honor
suddenly not with us, Why the emptiness-to-be at
our Seder table, Why the awful knowledge that he (Jack)
could not speak with her anymore, or tell her to sit
the dishes would be taken care of.

So, Jack wrestled
with himself, with G-d, with Life-and-Death-questions,
knowing Aunt Alta's good deeds and Heart of Love,
wrestled with angel of Death on our livingroom floor,
rolling around in torment, seeking some solace, a logical
answer, an insight into the hard-to-accept loss.
Jack's eyes streaming tears, cheeks glistening, face
aflush, blotchy, wrestling and wrestling, attempting
acceptance but unable to accept, turning his young mind
inside out, searching in all corners as he did earlier
for Chometz just two hours before.

The Passover preparation
still going on in our house. Large white pot of soup
cooking and turkey just done, and Tzimmus not yet begun.
Aunt Alta had already made stuffed cabbage (one of her
specialties), and applesauce, as contribution to the
Seder. So, Jack wrestled and sought an answer this
Eruv Pesach, and he reasoned with G-d and finally
finally got an answer, and calmly said, "Miss her so
much, but she's found her freedom."
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Pesach:  Passover.
Eruv:  the day prior to.
Tzimmus:  a dish of flanken meat, carrots, sweet potatoes;
also referred to as a chaotic state, a stew.
Chometz:  leavened food forbidden on Passover, such as bread.