The January Hold

MacKenzie Kell

This is it how it feels for me
a gun in the pocket
a robber in the night
and he takes me,
he shows me womanhood in the back of a car
and I break
I take my time to escape.
Downsize the lies
I am best to bless the blanket boy
I am religious in the strength to wake up again,
again it is a mother tongue
a prose
a hose to wipe all that could destroy my heart.
I am a dumb girl
big ears
I tell the other men it is fantasy
it is a spanking
and a misery I crave,
to blave is to bluff
and my chicky doodle liked it rough
she told history in the middle of a dance floor
and wiped my lip when the spit had fallen too hard.
I might really wash ashore one day
tell the water children there is a beat
at the bottom of love,
there is a rhythm
and its not always angry
it not always dew on the leaf in the morning,
I am in mourning
and sleep is my only pill.
Take it down the road
show it like pitchfork
analyze it like scientists in a lab
children horny in a cab,
I am burning small inside myself
I am easy on the shelf like a whore.