SHE'S OFF

boni joi

Running again, naked, as fast as her two hundred or
so five foot four frame can go,
into the graveyard but the gate is locked.
I try to persuade her to go back inside as her body
begins to stiffen and fall backward
she pushes against me and leans with all her pain
like a game of trust, if I don't hold her up she'll fall into the gravel.
But I'm fifteen and strong and I hold her as long as I can
and she leans and pushes
she's bare and weightless and will not talk,
she's somewhere I can't go,
will never be there with her, don't want to
she's out of it, knows she's too far gone and I can't help her.
She leans until she feels my body start to give
then purses her lips together like something is being torn from her
and looks up into the gray sky with clouded eyes
her whole body goes limp and she slides down mine to the ground.
I try now to lift her up as her eyes roll back into her head,
she's not on drugs, she's off of them and high because
of her leveled out feeling while she's on them
and I start to cry because I feel helpless and I can't lift her.
She opens her eyes and looks at me, first a concerned look and then
she smiles and slowly gets up and then
she's off again.

c. 2002